And folks, I approach every negotiation with the attitude in Marc’s aside. Yes, the person I’m negotiating with is wonderful, but they could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and then I expect them to be replaced by Darth Vader (or maybe the Emperor–he was probably tougher on contracts). When looked at in that light, a lot of contract terms are simply unacceptable on their face.

(As an aside, it’s very common for licensees to play the “We’re honest professionals, you can trust us to read this reasonably” card when licenses are negotiated. My response to this is a friendly laugh and the statement, “Of course I trust you, and I’m sure you’d pay on this just like you say. But, God Forbid, what if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and somebody else has to manage the license?”)

This point shouldn’t be taken in isolation or wrangled about in depth: it’s just a good illustration in general of the kind of thing you need professionals to know about so you don’t have to. I could list out a few dozen similar principles that are so ingrained in my mind that I don’t even consciously think about them when I read a contract. They just go “ping” when I hit them. To most lawyers, how you people make all the words come out and tell stories about dragons and robots and cats that solve murders and whatnot is an impenetrable mystery. How to make the words in a license come out so the story ends up with “And then she got a nice royalty check on the licensed products just like she was supposed to” is our mystery.

As far as fear of lawyers, well, I can understand that. Whenever I get a letter on legal letterhead, my heart sinks, and I are one.

But we have an old saying in my profession: “Pay me a little now, or pay me a lot later.” Or, in this particular case, “Pay me a little now, or watch somebody take a lot from you later.” It’s up to you.

And it should also be noted that most IP lawyers, like most other kinds of lawyers (a major exception being criminal defense lawyers for obvious reasons) will offer a free consultation and give you a (highly-qualified) estimate of what something will cost you. If you can’t afford it, say so. We may try to talk you into it, but we won’t mock you for not having the money. Most of us, being friendly sorts, will often offer observations (not advice) on what has worked in similar situations in the past during such consultations.

We do not bite, we will not make fun of your outfit, and the only criticism of your writing abilities we will offer is if you spell our names wrong on the check. (To a lawyer, the zenith of literature is the immortal short story form which begins, “Pay to the Order Of:”) There is, honest and for true, no downside to consulting one of us.

As you point out, however, that era is gone. A person can have the best written novel in the world, but they’ll never make it today if they don’t get the business side of the equation. The saying of “writing trumps everything” is true…for those looking to make a quick buck off of you.

I read lots of provisions in the Amazon terms for self-publication that really turned me off, but I e-signed the damned thing anyway, because Amazon is such an enormously popular distribution outlet.

At least with a paper contract (or an online agreement with a small firm) you can dicker.